Gorgeous and Sexy Failure Blog

Here’s the deal, friends. I did not graduate in December as planned because I did not finish my thesis.

I have made an arrangement with my v. patient advisor and the registrar to finish my thesis at least before May. I am technically “on leave” from Brandeis until I finish my work, and THEN I’ll be able to graduate.

I might sound annoyed when you ask about my thesis and whether I’ve graduated, but I’m never really upset at other people for asking about my life. I’m just very angry at myself atm, for a good reason. This is really excruciating for me to talk about; frankly I feel like a failure and that’s not doing wonders for my mental state. But failure is a thing that happened I guess and uh. I suppose I’ve gotta live with it.

I’m going to devote this semester to getting to an emotional place where I can write without beating myself up all the time. It’ll be tough, though, because I’m not at my most optimistic at the moment and I’ll have to start writing whether or not I “feel good” about it. Writing is not easy when you feel this shitty, tbh, but I’ll have to come up with some strategies to keep my anxiety at bay. Hopefully I’ll be able to complete a quality piece of writing I can proudly show off to everyone who keeps requesting to read my (as of now) very incomplete thesis.

Thanks to my Brandeis friends for being so lovely to me!

I really want to address race in my thesis b/c I’m talking about robots as a metaphor for Otherness and I cannot pretend that gender and queerness are the only kinds of Otherness in American culture! American sci fi does not often address race directly and I have been having trouble with finding sources re: race and robots, transhumanism, etc. Even primary sources. The narratives I’m looking at tend to present robotic metaphorical Otherness as female while also taking a colorblind approach, even in shows like BSG with POC characters.

I will ask a librarian this week but does anybody have any recommendations??? For narratives or analytical essays/articles/critiques. The sparse examples I can think of off the top of my head are under the cut.

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I’m an hour into Metropolis, and holy shit this is the most metal silent movie I’ve ever seen.